Ifs buts & what could have beens

I could have been a contender
You better listen-up mister
If I’d really made an effort
I could have been an Andrews Sister
I could have been neat
My technique complete
If I’d really put the training in
I could have been a top athlete
I could have been witty
I could have been cocky
With bland RP on the BBC
I could have been the next disk jockey
I could have been Audrey Hepburn
With my neck so sleek
The fact that I’m a bloke
Wouldn’t stop me from being so chic
Things my mother has said to me
Over the years
The shame of an accountant in the family
It appears!

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